In Anusara Teacher Training we are reading the book--The War of Art and page 7 states, "Resistance cannot be seen, touched, heard, or smelled. But it can be felt. We experience it as an energy field radiating from a work in potential. it's a repelling force. It's negative. Its aim is to shove us away, distract us, prevent us from doing from doing our work."
When at risk teens find something that they like or makes them feel good or just feel they tend to resist it because in their life they have been taught what feels good or gives us confidence is the enemy. This feeling comes mostly from the learned behavior that their little lives have had to endure. Mom's boyfriend bought me toys--that feels good---now he wants a return--that feels bad--for at risk teens or teens in crisis feelings of bad have always won out on feelings of good. We have been practicing over 4 months together in JDC, and one of my long time girls--who generally is very centered in yoga came completely unglued today--what I found out is that she is getting out of JDC in 2 weeks. Her getting out has triggered her self protection mechanism and today the wall of resistance went up in yoga class. She fell over in Down Dog into another student, she complained in every pose that her body "is not normal" and that she could not straighten her legs--she has been one of the most proficient at Uttanasana --very steady--. Today her mission was to get kicked out of yoga by the guard because then she would not have to face not coming back to something that made her feel good about herself and then have to leave.
What is most amazing to me is that our life off the mat is a direct reflection of our practice on the mat--if we give 50% to our life, then we will give 50% to our yoga practice--for these kids though their life has been given to them at 50% and maybe that is all they know. Their baseline is skewed--no one has shown them living at 100% and gaining their inner strength is what life is about. No one has been there for them to remind them that yes we all make mistakes, but it is our actions after our mistake that forms our life lesson--not the mistake.
I bow to the true teacher, the one who lives inside me as me---is a very foreign statement to these kids because their true teacher has been hidden. The beauty in this whole situation is that Yoga will bring out the true teacher in each of them--yoga will light their path and guide their journey and I am humbled to be witness.