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Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Grizzly Bear

There is anticipation every time I enter the razor wired fence of JDC, my heart starts racing, and I begin to feel anxious-- my palms get sweaty, I really kind of have a little anxiety attack-- then I remember I get to leave. I don't have to stay in the room where I teach, coverd in peas from dinner, and many leaves of lettuce that got moved around by the mop, but never picked up- as I enter I know that this is where I'm supposed to be, this is the best place in the world to teach-- this is where the yoga magic happens.

It has been a couple of weird weeks at JDC, lots of new kids pushing the limits of their boundaries, and one new guard who feels it is his duty to remind every one of the kids how completely clueless they are--- which to me is completely funny becuase this no less than 350 pound man screams at the kids to work harder at yoga as he sits and watches them work hard-- after Savasana, last night, he screamed for 10 minutes at the kids because they don't listen enough-- and then told them to give him a reason to get mad....... come on, this ranting is what they've had their whole lives, helllooooo they are not listening to you crazy screaming man-- they don't care who you are, you are just another screaming hebeast amoung the many hebeasts that have crossed their paths.

I'm drawn to how ironic this whole situation is, the kids just get out of a 10 minute Savasana, they are calm, they are quiet and then whammo screaming crazy man-- WTF? As I tried to melt away my angry feeling and profound sadness for the kiddos, I am reminded of the two principles of Anusara Yoga which are muscle energy and organic energy-- the spanda of life, the vibration that brings life and spouts greatness. Too much muscle energy and you close off the opening, too much organic energy and you end up with flacid movement. Last night, as the kids were in Savasana, the ultimate form of passive organic energy, they softened, that is when they actually get to feel-- many of them cry into the eye pillows because they actually soften to the point of rememberance---

This grizzly bear of a man, however loud and shouting he was, never did disturb the beauties, they looked at him with blank stares, rolled thier mats, put their eye pillows away and lined up-- each one thanking me for coming-- maybe their muscle energy is so strong that these words from a loud clueless person really didn't permiate their beautiful extention-- could their organic energy field, hold strong enough to not let the words get in--- probably not, I think that maybe someday the yoga will help them remember that they are more than words-- that their perfection given from birth is their gift --

As I leave the same way I came, through the razor wire, past the chain linked fence, out the gate that buzzes me in, I'm filled with gratitude to the grizzly bear who growled so loud that the earth shook, because in his growl, you could see that he is scared too, he's not sure how to handle these kids because he has never been handled with Grace and Gratitude--

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