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Friday, July 2, 2010

It is war all the time

You are a soul in a mammal body. --Lee Lozowick

The central nervous system is the first reponder of all mammals, this is where your survival instict lives, this is the beginning of the fight or flight center. Your central nervous system is a hot and powerful center it decides right now if you are in the mode of fight or flight-- it is the action of survival at it's rawest form.

The kids in JDC lived with fight or flight their entire existance-- imagine your whole life, your whole life being fight or flight, your whole life an act of instinctual survival-- eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. I find when I'm in fight or flight mode there is no exhale- only being on the outlook for predators. My breath is short, my body is tense, and I'm continually uncomfortable-- I want to fight through--- many kids in JDC opt for the other flight option-- they want to get away from everything, especially themselves. Many kids hide behind depression because depression makes it someone elses problem-- and you are a victim-- helpless.

There is a syndrome that many kids who come from neglectful homes have upon the first few weeks of birth called Failure to Thrive, this is flight to it's extreme, 2 week old babies will not eat, they will not make eye contact, in their own fragile way they are in flight-- they want to disappear because the idea of fighting to live is so grim, even to their 2 week old bodies-- this Failure to thrive is instinctual you will find it in animals as well, I wonder if it's a situation where even at 2 weeks old, they know that their situation their family or even their surroundings are not safe, I wonder if Failure to Thrive is protection.

A prevention to Failure to Thrive is brought about by kangaroo's, if you hold a premee baby or a Failure to Thrive baby skin to skin on your heart so that their heart beat begins to match yours the baby will begin to want to live-- the beauty of being held actually calms them by the beat of another person's heart-- this person does not have to be their parent-- in a way, don't we all just want to feel a connection to something bigger than ourselves, in that moment of the kangaroo hold, a baby immersed in flight comes home to their heart and they want to live. Maybe fight or flight is a opening to something bigger if we immerse ourselves in the idea that we are all the same, a heart beat wanting to belong.

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