Pregnant

I never cease to be inspired by the kids at JDC. We had a birthday in class and in true tradition we did 17 Surya Namaskar's and each one we dedicated to someone in the class--that was the wish of the birthday girl. WOW~!

One of the girls joked the whole class about how she had to pee, and everyone laughed, and finally she revealed that she was pregnant--PREGNANT! My heart sank, because no one told me she was pregnant and there are poses that you should not do while pregnant and oh my gosh a wave of fear came over me---then another monsoon of fear for her--she's 15! I was a young mom, I was 19 when my daughter was born--it was hard for me, and I had finished high school. But 15 I cannot help but think of the road that she has ahead--and the part that is the most disturbing is that to her she feels like this baby is going to keep her boyfriend around and save her life. Save her life!!!--I just wanted to tell her that it's not an easy road, that the work is yet to begin and that today you can no longer think of yourself--that today needs to be the day you decide that every decision that you make is for the betterment of your child--that today no one can rescue you but yourself and that today you need to become an adult because a child cannot raise a child. But I took a deep breath, and remembered that when I was a young mom I wouldn't have listened to anyone.

I cannot stop thinking of that young girl, who looks maybe 12 instead of 15 and can only imagine the life that she has had to bring her to the place of getting pregnant so the one person that she feels is true to her --the boyfriend--will not leave her alone and that in giving birth to another human being that she will feel less alone. I wish she would come to understand that I found being a teenaged mother was the lonliest I ever felt--that being 19 and a mom my friends didn't want to come around, and the boyfriend was long gone, and my family who felt shamful told me that I was nothing and there I was a 19 year old girl with a newborn feeling more alone than ever and finding something in myself that said---we are not going to live like this, there is more out these for us and my journey began. I only hope that this fragile JDC flower can find that in herself ---that is my hope for her and her unborn baby.